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| AMAZING BECAUSE IT IS I was so scared of everything you put in front of meI've been arching every part of meJust to seeWhy you need me to beThe boy you need me to beAmazing grace How sweet the soundThat saves a wretch like meI once was lostAnd now I'm foundWas blind but now I seeI just wanna seeI'm the type of person that let's fear driveI'm the type of guy that let's it driveCause I'm addicted, I'm needy,I'm lost without youI need youAmazing grace (you're amazing)How sweet the sound (you're amazing)That saved a wretch like meI once was lost (It feels so bad when you're lost and alone)But now I'm foundWas blind but now I see- I was so scared of what you put in front of me
Lately I have been tested in many different ways that I have not been tested in before. Things such as taking a stand to my softball team, my schooling, a big test coming up that I have to pass to go on in my education, finding a summer job, and doing a presentation in order to get accepted into student teaching. All of these are in my life right now, and frankly I am kind of scared to face them. I am scared for the first time in a while that I will fail. I have never really had a problem with thinking I am going to fail in something, until now. God please be with me and give me the wisdom and knowledge to get through this. Place people in my life that will encourage me to get through this time.- Why you need me to be the boy you need me to be
I want to just take a step back in how I view things. Christ told us to be like a child. A child is innocent, and carefree of things that mean nothing. A child only knows what is necessary to live. I need to live life like a child, and have fun.- Amazing grace how sweet the sound
The sound of amazing grace is, well, amazing. It takes me back to the root question: how could You (God) love me so much, that You would die...for me. I know that I have been taking this for granted, and God let me know it. I was listening to this song while studying for a test when God spoke to me throught those widely used words "Amazing grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me". I hit me like a ton of emotional bricks, that God really loves me, even when it seems as if the whole world is against me. I think I speak for everyone when I say that I wanna see what God has in store next. I think that, however, aaron intended this to speak of how God opens your eyes by His grace through His salvation.- Cause I'm addicted, I'm needy, I'm lost without you
Without God one becomes addicted, needy, and lost. I have slipped as of late. God has put someone in my life that has brought me hope to get through this and to be picked up and become stronger. As a side note, I am not at the bottom of the barrel, so to speak. I am doing better than I have, but I want to improve more in my relationship with God. This person has showed me that I can be encouraged by saying hello or anything at all. And she has done this in many ways. I thank God for putting her in my life. | | |
|  | Currently Listening
II
By Maylene & The Sons of Disaster
see related |
SOFTBALL
We are well into conference and things are looking up for us. We just completed a sweep of Southern Arkansas University, of whom nobody else in our conference has beaten more than twice. We are excited about this win. We are now in 4th place which means if we stay there we are in the conference tourney at the end of the season. We have 13 more conference games left to hold our spot or move up, we can do it!
SCHOOL
School is goin...I am not doin as well as I'd like to, but it's my last school semester before I student teach so I'm not worried at all. I do have to bring up one grade though considerably if I wanna pass, but I can do it. This semester is really busy.
MOTORCYCLE
I have a really good feelon my motorcycle now. I had a tough time, and still kinda do, with stopping and going again, but the wrinklesare comin out, so to speak. I love the freedom on a bike, it's so exhillerating. I have not had to fill it up in three weeks, which is awesome!
FAMILY
Josh is doin the baseball thing in his senior year, and doin well in defending their state title. My mom is doin better than ever, because she looks happy. My dad is also doin well, his job is still goin great for him, and he is home more often now too. Dusty, McKenzie, Ginger, and Samo are all great. Dusty is gettin big, and more and more lvable by the day, he's a good dog.
FRIENDS
What can I say, ya'l are awesome. Me, mitchell, laura, and nancy all went out to hot springs on sunday and me and mitchell played disc golf while laura and nan shopped. It was awesome, disc golf that is, and a very nice course at that. Afterwards we went to Rolando's and ate dinner, which was good, and relaxing. Joel and ATT are goin strong on the road. Jimmy and erin are awesome as usual. Jon is still kickin butt and takin names. It was also good to see nicole when we went and saw blades of glory, which is hilarious btw. I love you guys.
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| Wow, it has been a while. I hope you all have not forgotten me on here. A lot has been happening. There has been soo much going on in the following:
Softball
School
Family
Friends
Motorcycle
Special Person
Ask me about any of the following!
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| First off, thank you to everyone who commented on my last post dealing with music. I know that my friends at home understand me and where I come from in that area, cause they are right there with me.
The softball season is underway...finally. We are currently 2-2, with two games tonight against UAPB and a four game tournament this weekend in Monticello. I hope that we can really get things going and get all six this week.
Valentines day is coming and I have no date for it, although I did ask someone  . I hope she says yes.
Until next time...BUTTA!
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| Before I begin this probably very long post, I want to make one thing
very clear. I am not doing this to get back at or spite anyone, nor to
put anyone's music down. I believe that people should like what they
like, regardless of what people think (too bad others, such as the
entire OBU population, doesn't feel the same way that I do).
My
music describes me in more ways than one, and if you don't think so,
then let me prove you wrong, which seems to be a commanding theme in my
life. If you listen to my music, and I mean really listen without
judging it because of its sound, and you don't see the connections,
then you really do not know me and should spend more time with me,
which is practically everyone here at OBU since...nevermind, that's
another soapbox...let's get back on track here.
The music that I
listen to brings out in myself the very feelings that I am feeling deep
down inside. I listen to mostly rock and its many various forms. I
listen to a little rap too, but thats mainly just for variance. I
listen to everything in rock from the slowest, lightest of tunes all
the way to the heaviest thing to ever enter your ears. Sadly, however
when people think of my music they only think about the heavy stuff and
assume it's all that I listen to. This assumption is very wrong.
I
am a man of passion, yes I said man. And I say man very proudly because
I know what it is to be one, unlike most of these fake guys that go
here that claim manhood is getting some girl to notice him, or drink
the highest proof of alcohol and hold it in, or succeed in
sports...etc. I know that there are many real men here on campus, don't
get me wrong, they're all over campus, but there is more fakes than
real. You might be wandering "how does this have anything to do with
his music?". I will tell you that it has a lot to do with it, more than
you know, which is why I get offended when someone trashes my music.
Among
the poppy melodies, the wailing vocals, the thrashing guitar, the heavy
breakdowns, and the hard hitting drumming comes many attributes that
literally scream who I am and what I stand for. I challenge you to
simply read these lyrics and tell me what you think. Many of these
lyrics will tell you about myself or what I believe in:
"We will
wear compassion, we will wear it on our chests, and sing with the love
at our throats, like a child, it's all I know" - As Cities Burn
"Love is worth living for" - India
"You were always there, we were never aware of your love" - After the Tragedy
"My God, what a world you love" - As Cities Burn"
"I
can't save you, but I will love you. I'd like to think that this is
love lost in second chances without end, this is romance." - As Cities
Burn
"Caught a glimpse of your eye, I'm ready to give you my heart." - Blindside
"And
I know as they hammered those nails into your beautiful hands your eyes
they tried to search for mine, but I look away...Now your eyes are the
only thing that can save me, I'm still afraid of them piercing. Your
breaking into my prison, my soul is dying and I won't look away." -
Blindside
"I am a manly man...I tell my guy friends that I love them, not because I'm gay, but because I love them." - Bradley Hathaway
"I
will fight for her, climb the highest tower for her, love her, share
with her, delight in her, be her warrior, her protector. She will be my
crown and I will be hers." - Bradley Hathaway
"Jesus Christ, you
break my heart of stone, your words are light, come barrel through the
darkness to the bone...a heart of glass you gave me, only you can save
me...save me daylight, i am coming home." - Brave Saint Saturn
"The
morning will come, in the place of every kiss, with your head upon my
chest, where I will annoy you with every waking breath, until you
decide to wake up." - Coheed and Cambria
"here you come with a
smile that'd send any man to his knees, and I feel thatI've begun now
that we're one now." - Further Seems Forever.
"Everything happens for a reason." - India
"I'm in love with the ordinary, I need a simple space to rest my head, and everything gets clear." - Jimmy Eat World
"I fall asleep with my friends around me, the only place I know I feel safe". - Jimmy Eat World
"I've
been waiting so long, to touch you and sleep in your eyes, and now as
my heart's beating so hard, I hold on and keep you at home in my arms."
- Ludo
"You're not alone, there is more to this I know, you can make it out, you will live to tell" - Saosin
"I
have wandered so far away from your embrace, yet still the season's
change, from the first time I realise what I am without you." - Spoken
"It's all worth reaching for, the hand to pull you out." - UnderOath
"So hold your head up high and know it's not the end of the road
Walk down this beaten path before you pack your things and head home
At the end of the road you'll find what you've been longing for
I know 'cause my feet have the scars to show
I was lost with vague direction and no place to call home
It's time for you to press on
This is not your war
Set your sights to North and press on
This is not your escape
Wash way what they thought of you
Because in this place, we're all as good as dead
...end cycle...
Behind the mask you'll find yourself alone
It's not the end of road for you" - UnderOath
This but a small portion of myself in my music. Please respect my music, it's who I am.
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